


Take a pic [before it's too late]

by XKurapikaX



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drama, M/M, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Show Business, friends to strangers to lovers, harry's heartbroken, they're both idiots though, twitter spats, unhealthy lifestyle, zarry - Freeform, zayn is depressed, zigi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2019-10-22 10:42:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17661161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XKurapikaX/pseuds/XKurapikaX
Summary: It all starts on 12th January at 02:37. Harry knows the exact time because in order to see it one just needs to look at the down left corner of the video. Getting drunk on 11th January was one of his worst ideas. Although the throbbing in his head and the soreness in his muscles aren't half as bad as his big mouth was last night.(@tinaxquad omg have you seen The Video@lourenesv IM DECEASED ZARRYS REAL BYE@harrysstan [link] Just watch it. No words needed.@zuynie "I miss Zayn", same Harry, same Harry [pic])





	1. [vid]

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [effulgent: adjective [eng]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6777223) by [shaekspeares](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaekspeares/pseuds/shaekspeares). 



It all starts on 12th January at 02:37. Harry knows the exact time because in order to see it one just needs to look at the down left corner of the video. His phone is turned off because he is tired of hearing the constant beeping and buzzing which has been continuing since the early morning. He's hungover and needs a break; not a lecture. Most importantly, he doesn't need drama. His management, his mum, Gemma, the boys, his band members, every journalist who has his number, possibly even Obama himself have been trying to reach him.

Getting drunk on 11th January was one of his worst ideas. Although the throbbing in his head and the soreness in his muscles aren't half as bad as his big mouth was last night. The point is, he's the 'honest drunk'. But that's okay. That's okay because he only gets drunk with his close friends whom he trusts with his life, let alone his secrets; because no matter how wasted he is, they always take care of him. What's not okay, however, is the fact that he wasn't in the club with them yesterday.

He wasn't planning to get _this_ drunk. He wasn't planning to get drunk at all - it wasn't his fault, really. If anyone's, it was Gigi Hadid's. And partly his fault because no one made him scroll her instagram and see the photo. It was just a normal couple photo, kind of cute if Harry's honest, but the wound was still too fresh. On the second thought, it wasn't Gigi's fault either, it was Zayn's. Or Mark Zuckerberg's for owning instagram.

But he got drunk. Zuckerberg isn't aware of what he caused, but the spiral goes down from there. Harry got drunk on his own, went to the club, and had fun. Until it got out of hand, and he started talking. Whining, actually. About everything; about missing his mum while on tour, about his old controlling management, about the lame music he used to make in One Direction, about losing the connection with people he called family (the members of said band). Finally, about his past relationships. He thought he was over it - apparently not. He was over all of them, all but one. But only one mattered in the end. "Harry Styles crying over Taylor Swift" would be a great headline too, albeit not as dramatic and shocking as "Harry Styles confirms he's in love with Zayn Malik". See the difference?

The headlines aren't exactly that, because he didn't say anything like this. Yet the audio in the video of him talking about Zayn is surprisingly clean, and it's not difficult to guess that him "missing Zayn" isn't exactly platonic. Arguing about it would be pointless - everyone heard what he had said. Harry wouldn't believe himself if he suddenly released a statement claiming that it was "out of context". People aren't stupid; especially not the One Direction fandom. 

As if talking with random people about his biggest secrets wasn't bad enough, he was being filmed. It was filmed and uploaded to the internet and, as Simon Cowell loved to remind them back at 2010, would remind there forever. If Harry's children and grandchildren will ever feel the need to listen to their wasted grandpa talking about some boy he loved, they will be free to do so. At least, the person uploading had the decency to take it down after a couple of hours, seeing what they had unleashed. Unfortunately, way too late. 

 Harry, remaining in the haze state of mind, decided that what is done is done. If the world knew he loved Zayn, then so be it. (At least for now).

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the kind of story I wanted to write for a long time. I love the fun with writing fandom's reactions


	2. [sms]

The bright light of the computer screen is blinding him, and even though he watched the video a hundred times already, he still hopes it will change after the thousand rewind. 

 _The bar is crowded, but surprisingly well lit. As some analysis pointed out_ (they're already there, of course, terrifyingly accurate and detailed)  _the recorder was asking specifically for information about Zayn, and Harry, drunk out of his mind, was more than happy to ramble about him._

 _Harry:_ [inaudible] _And he left. Just like that, 'course I asked him not to. He didn't care though. Not a call, not a 'fuck off'. Nothing._

_Girl: I'm so sorry, Harry. He's a dick._

_Harry: I booked the same hotel room in Jamaica. It's like... He was there, innit? Like, I was closer to him. I wrote the songs. 'Wonder if he likes them._

He clicks the pause button and lets out a shaky breath. Thoughts are swirling in his head, and he feels even more tired than he did when he woke up at midnight after the whole day in bed. His careless approach to the situation is long gone - he wishes he could stay in this hotel room for the rest of his tour. Or for the rest of his life. 

He finally decides to turn on his phone, waiting for the avalanche of messages; although he's going to answer only his mum's and maybe Gemma's. He is not ready for the rest - definitely not ready to see what kind of articles are written about him already. He especially isn't curious about Zayn and Gigi's responses if there are any. He wonders for a moment why hasn't anyone barged into his room yet - his bandmates should have. Maybe they are more merciful than he thinks.

Besides all the unanswered calls, there are around a hundred texts. He gladly chooses to ignore then and reads his mum's last message.

 

 **Mummy:** I'm coming

 

He immediately stands up from the bed, letting the duvet fall from his lap. He is ready to call her - as much as he loves her, he isn't keen on the prospect of having her with him at the moment. He hopes she isn't on the way to him yet. However, before he even presses the 'call' button, he receives a message. He would ignore it, of course. If not for the name of the contact.

And it's not fine. Unfair even. Not fine at all, because he was supposed to sulk for half a year more and move on. He _really_ was. He was supposed to avoid all drama, make his own music, play concerts in a way smaller halls than he used to (and he loved it), and finally, sing his heart out and let it heal. This message is just unfair.

 

 **Zayn:** where is ur next concert

 

Harry, as much as he prefers to remain clueless, knows Zayn too well. He realises it's not difficult information to find. It's a question "Can I come?" or a statement "I'll be there". He doesn't know which, so he sends back a quick "New York". It's an automatic response - when he sees the 'sent' on his phone, he wonders if he's still drunk.

If not, he should get drunk. 

 

 

 


	3. [avi]

He lets his fingers run through the keyboard as he tries to find the right words to answer the huge amount of emails. The last few days he's been so diplomatic, he's made himself quite proud - 'Harry Styles - the king of the PR'. He's gotten so good at avoiding giving concrete answers, he's almost become a politician.

At first, he was overwhelmed by the mess he had created. He got reminded of the times when their band had just gone big and they hadn't been prepared for such fame. With time, he got used to reading lies about himself and not to bother himself with them, but now, the problem is, the news is not a lie.

His phone beeps again, distracting him from his thoughts.

 

 **Louis:** At least Larry isn't a thing anymore lol

 

Harry almost cracks a smile. He sends back a few happy emoticons to show his gratitude for that playful message. Receiving only a thumb up in exchange, he drops his phone again. The computer screen steals his attention again, as he accidentally hits the mouse with his elbow while reaching for the phone, changing the page. Twitter.

 He takes a deep breath as he sees the trending tag. #Zarry, of course. What else.

Yet, he can't help but click. He's always been stupid like that.

 

@zayum OMG WILL HARRY RELEASE A STATEMENT OR A MARTIAL PROPOSITION, I DON'T CARE WHICH ONE #zarry

@oned1r3ct10n where are these stalkers leading the 'harry was there' accounts ?? i need to know how my boi's doing #zarry

@zarryfan2121 I'm in denial. It's been 3 days and I still watch the video 3 times a day. I can't function anymore. #zarry

 

Harry leans back on the chair, reviving his manager's words in his head. He advised him to avoid the spotlight for now and to focus solely on his tour. No interviews, no comments regarding the Zayn situation. People won't forget entirely, but they will stop talking at some point. Only the dedicated ones will keep doing so. 

Another thing Harry couldn't stop reviving in his mind was the laconic message he got from Zayn. New York concert is tomorrow, and frankly speaking, he is stressed. And anticipating. 

 One more day to see Zayn.

 

 


	4. [vip]

 He knows that people will be watching his every move during the concert, before and after. They want a show, but they also hope to get some answers. To be honest, he hopes for the same thing. He's ready for the many pictures to circle through the internet that night - 'Harry smiles secretly', 'Harry looks so depressed', 'Look at his face when he sings song X'. 

 Although he wishes he won't be forced to read any of that sort, he itches for any sign he might get himself. He still rereads Zayn's message each day, as if to see if it changed. It hasn't. He's over doubting if Zayn's text means that he's going to come to see him tonight. He's done thinking at all.

The stage is set. The deafening sound of cheers and screams is as overwhelming as always, and it leaves him energetic, frantic. Gemma's words echo in his head 'It's gonna be alright, Harry, just do what you're good at'. He tries to, and he thinks that he does a pretty good job, he's convincing; the role in Dunkirk wasn't thanks to nothing, after all. He loves performing - he reminds himself as he throws himself around the stage during one of the most dynamic songs.

He looks up and halts for a brief second which, fortunately, goes unnoticed. He sees a man standing in the only empty vip box above his head. He can't see clearly, but he knows it's him. 

He clears his throat, changes the song, and says.

  
"This is a song I wrote back in 2015."

  
Because that's where they left off. 

 

 


	5. [mp3]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 4 & 5 are out. Enjoy and scold me for grammar mistakes. Thank you, love to you all, dear people.

The screams get louder when people realise that he's staring. He's never been more focused in his life than in this moment, delivering the best he can, raw emotions and silent prayer for understanding. He hopes all he wants is converted.

He tears his gaze away with difficulty, as he nearly flushes when people start yelling; he closes his eyes to sing the last verses of the song. 

"Thank you New York!"

He's relieved that this is the end, but at the same time, he's frightened. He knows that Zayn's going to wait for him backstage. He's terrified and he can't wait. 

He almost forgets to thank his bandmates before the lights go out and people start to leave. His assistants congratulate him when he passes them on his way to the changing room. He doesn't feel uncomfortable in his clothes, but he's so sweaty, so it's for the good of the others. He needs to hurry if he plans to do it on time. 

Apparently, the universe wants him to stink of perspiration while facing Zayn because he meets him halfway on the corridor leading to the wardrobe. He has no idea how is it even possible that Zayn got there so fast, but here he is.

Just like Harry remembered, yet not quite. Shining hair, god-given cheekbones, and a mysterious aura surrounding him as he's leaning on the nearest wall, blocking Harry's route. He doesn't have time to do him one-over because of the big, brown eyes which are looking right back at his and command his attention. His green ones settle on them in return.

He feels his insides shattering, if he didn't have so much self-control, he would be shaking like a leaf.

" _I'm missing half of me when we're apart_ ," Zayn quotes, and the realization of how much he had missed the sound of his voice, the funny accent, hits Harry with its full force. 

"Did you like it?" He asks, trying to avoid the unavoidable awkwardness of the incoming conversation.

"The song? Yeah. Heard it before."

"Good."

Silence.

 "The show was nice too," Zayn breaks it after a few seconds.

"Thanks."

Their eyes unlock and Harry uses that quiet moment to take Zayn in - his casual clothes, the tattoos he used to memorise with his fingers (there are a few he hasn't seen in person before, only on some pap pictures), and his lazy stance. The last one doesn't fool Harry though, since he's aware of Zayn's emotional side - even though his face might seem completely void of emotions, Harry knows that he's as terrified as he is if not more. So he decides to take the first step. Zayn's done a lot - he messaged him, and he came. It's Harry's turn.

"I miss you," he says sincerely, his tone is soft and firm. 

 

 


	6. [txt]

They walk to the changing room without talking. There will be time to talk, much, much time. For now, Harry tries to enjoy Zayn's presence. It almost feels like a dream, or like time-machine travel, having Zayn next to him, close enough to touch if he wants to. He wants, of course, but he can't.

"Here," he opens the door to let him in.

Zayn seems to halt before entering. Harry can only guess that it reminds him of the old times when they would spend hours and hours in wardrobes before and after their shows.

Zayn only speaks when the door is closed. 

"I saw the video, obviously," he sounds unsure, just like Harry feels. Fear that grabbed his heart isn't about to let it go. He gulps, and Zayn's eyes follow the movement of his throat. 

"I was drunk," he immediately deflects, even though he knows it's stupid and unnecessary. 

"Obviously."

Another beat of silence passes.

Harry sighs and sits down on the metallic box at the other end of the room, closer to the door if he wishes to retreat. He won't, but he feels safer this way. Zayn remains standing, a dark figure hovering over him.

"I really mean it," he admits, keeping his head down, suddenly missing his long hair which would help him cover his face. "I miss you. There wasn't a single day I haven't thought about you."

His legs are apart, and he keeps his joined hands between them, one clutching the other one desperately. He knows Zayn's staring at them.

"You didn't move on either, I know it," he adds, although without much confidence. "It's all in your songs, they say. Even Louis called me when your album dropped. 'Listen to it, Harry, don't be a pussy and call him'. He was still mad at you at the time. But he saw the message."

A deep inhale. This time from Zayn.

"You didn't call me," Harry continued, his lip trembling as if he were about to cry. "You tried calling the rest. But you didn't call me." 

He glanced at Zayn to search his face - to see his reaction. He was looking at something behind him, his face troubled.

"I wanted to," he offers.

 Hearing these words only agitate him.

 "What about before? You didn't speak a word to me before you left. I found out only because Liam was so kind to tell me earlier than the rest. He thought I deserved to know. You didn't."

"You deserved to know," Zayn agrees, sounding weary. Like he is the oldest person on Earth. "But you didn't deserve to suffer."

"Thank you for sparing me this," Harry can't help but attack him with his anger. "Really, this is the reason?" He spats and stands up. "You thought that not telling me was the best way to cease my pain?"

He doesn't expect an answer. 

"That's bollocks. Don't even say that," he thrusts his fist against the dressing table. "You didn't respect me enough to talk to me yourself? Until now?"

"I have great respect for you, Harry," Zayn crosses his arms over his chest defensively. "It was hard for me. You can't even imagine---"

"I can't," he cuts him off. "Because you've never spoken to me about this."

These words seem to have an effect on Zayn - Harry can almost see as he closes in himself.

"I wanted to."

Harry's shaky breath comes out as a small, bitter laugh.

"I don't care. This... Doesn't change anything. That's just the beginning. What about the rest? You couldn't call me for _two years_. I thought I deserve more than a text after two years of silence," a flow of overwhelming sadness drowns his anger. His legs give up and, once again, he rests on the box.

Zayn doesn't appear to have a good answer. He's quiet, his eyes are glassy, and his eyebrows knit above them. Harry feels an awful satisfaction seeing that the other isn't indifferent. 

"I was... In a bad place."

"So was I. You put me there," he immediately regrets saying that. Zayn nearly flinches at these words, and Harry wants to take it back as soon as it leaves his mouth. But he also feels a twitch of pride, knowing he has the upper hand. That he can cause this kind of reaction from the other.

"It was a bad idea," Zayn whispers as if to himself.

"Not talking to me? Bad, shitty--"

"No. Coming here tonight."

This actually hurts him. Harry knows Zayn doesn't say it to hurt him, but it hurts no less. 

"I didn't ask you to."

 "I know. And this... Isn't okay. Y'know, I shouldn't have. Just," he closes his eyes, and massages the bridge of his nose. "It's better if I leave now. It's pointless. I don't know what I was thinkin'. It's unfair towards you. Like... Taking advantage of your feelings. It should stay as it is."

"Yeah. Keep not calling and writing songs about it. You'll have an inspiration forever."

"I really mean it," he exclaims. "Two years, you're right about that. You're right about every other thing, actually. When I saw that video, I thought... But it's stupid. Like, really naive. I don't expect anything from you. Just know that I'm sorry."

"You thought what?" Harry holds onto this hope.

"That we might talk and settle some things," Zayn avoids looking at him. "But expecting you to forgive me and repair at least a part of our friendship was stupid."

"Friendship?" He repeats, confused. "You wanted to become my friend again?"

"Yeah. We were always closer than the others and it's--"

"We weren't friends," he doesn't know what Zayn means but the usage of the term is important to him. "The rest were, we weren't. I don't want to be your friend. I was pretty obvious I don't think about you as a friend. Even now." 

 "I know, but," Zayn takes a step towards the exit as if he is about to run. "I don't think that Gigi likes it."

Harry freezes.

He remembers that some of the comments were hateful towards her, there were fans who demanded her to break up with Zayn so Harry could take her place, but bringing her into this now seems cruel and selfish to Harry. He decides to say it.

"She has nothing to do with us. This is between us. She's your girlfriend, but this isn't about her," he said. "Or is it? You want me to make better publicity for her? Maybe we could go out, the three of us, to show people that they don't need to hate on her because we're all friends? _'No hard feelings, Gigi, I don't want to steal your boyfriend'_."

 "It affects her, Harry," Zayn defends his cause. "But you're right, I don't wanna bring her into this."

"You just did. Did she come up with the idea of you talking to me? Settle some things. Tell Harry that you're not interested and that he shouldn't get drunk and run his mouth about you anymore."

"It was my idea. She doesn't know that I'm here. This is between you and me."

"What did you want to achieve?" Harry finally loses his patience. "Because you're not here to explain yourself."

"I--" Zayn halts. "I wanted to see you."

A small sound, similar to a sob, escapes Harry's lips.

"You see me now, and?"

"And I don't see anything else," Zayn tells him, completely honest. "There's you, just you. And nothing else. Just you, Harry."

Harry quickly grasps the meaning of these words. He feels his eyes water so he runs his fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm himself.

"You can leave now," he commands, refusing to cry in front of Zayn. 

Zayn looks like he wants to say something more, but decides against it. He passes Harry on his way to the door, avoiding looking at him.

Harry stands up to walk him out with his gaze, but the sight of Zayn's retreating bach breaks something within him.

"Happy birthday," he yells after the man, standing at the doorframe. He takes the rose ring off his finger and throws it after him without care. The first tear falls from his eye but he doesn't even realise. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol


	7. [http]

Harry doesn't expect Zayn to take the ring off the floor and leave with it. 

Most importantly, he doesn't expect him to start wearing it. But he does, even publicly. He doesn't know if Zayn's being sarcastic or nostalgic. All he knows is that he feels as if he's been slapped when he sees it for the first time.  Most people don't care, some claim that Zayn and he reconciled, some say that they got engaged, and there's also a small group of people who dare say that the ring suits Zayn better. 

 

@hazzaboi   @zarro lol, nope. zayn just copied harry's style. he's been wearing this rose ring since 2013? and zayne's started just now #zarry #ornot #whatever

 

Harry refrains from liking this tweet. He knows he shouldn't show he cares about that. Yet, it makes him smile.

"What's so funny, Harry?" Lou Teasdale asks him. They're currently chilling in the garden of her large house, Harry's half-lying on the deckchair and Lou's sitting on a wooden bench. She's got a knowing smile plastered across her face, so he doesn't even bother to answer. He puts the phone away. 

"Can I eat something?" 

She motions to the backdoor. "Take whatever you want from the fridge. The kitchen is yours," she says with a friendly smile. The one she knows he loves. 

He doesn't go inside the house though. Instead, he joins her on the bench as she opens up her arms to offer him an embrace. She always knows when he needs it. He breathes in her flowery perfume and puts his head on her shoulder. She's like an older sister, always patient and honest, but also mocking and mean in the right way which reminds him of Gemma. Maybe that's the reason they get along well. Because she reminds him of his real sister whom he misses most of the time. 

"It's okay," she mumbles into his hair, petting him. "What is it?"

He closes his eyes. "He said that he sees nothing but me. Then, he left," he knows he's tedious but he needs to hear some words of comfort.

"You asked him to leave, darling," Lou corrects him and rests her chin on his head. She has already heard the whole story. "And you shouldn't expect anything more. Maybe that's for the better, you'll suffer for a while longer, but you'll be finally free. You really need to let yourself move on. He needs to move on, too. You've finally settled things in your own strange-childish way, so it's time to apply the changes to your life. There's no point in waiting."

He moves away from her and she lets him. There's concern still shining in her eyes when she looks at him.

"You know there's nothing in the sight for the two of you together."

He nods because his throat is so tight he doesn't trust himself with any words at the moment. What Lou said is true, and it's similar to what Zayn had told him, that's why it makes him incredibly sad. 

 

Because he knows what Zayn sees. Him. Only him. Nothing else, no Zayn next to him, no love. Nothing. A man. A lone man.

 

It's even worse than not knowing what Zayn thinks.

 


	8. [html]

The big needle comes a week later. Zayn has recently done an interview, and it's finally out. Harry couldn't care less until he sees his name again co-joined with Zayn's in headlines.

 

_"To be honest, I never really spoke to Harry even when I was in the band. So I didn’t really expect that much of a relationship with him."_

 

This is such bollocks, even Liam calls him to say that Zayn overstepped the line, but at the same time, he tries to reason that Zayn is confused and depressed, and shouldn't be held accountable for what he says. 'You know the press, they dig until they find anything, lie or not,' Liam tells him over the phone. It doesn't make Harry feel any better. He feels humiliated since Zayn makes him appear as some idiot who had a crush on him in a band but who was only able to admire him from afar. Erasing their history together. 

Louis gets it - he sends Harry mean memes about Zayn, and it's nice, but it's also a constant reminder. 

He does what he's best at, or used to be best at; he smiles and pretends that it doesn't bother him.

 

GUYS CHILL, ZAYN DIDN'T REALLY SPEAK TO HARRY IN THE BAND BECAUSE THEY WERE PUTTING THAT MOUTH TO A BETTER USE. #Zarry

 

He almost chokes on his drink as he reads some of the tweets popping on his twitter page.

"Since when are you so concerned with social media?" Lou asks while doing his makeup before his rolling stone interview. She tries to catch a glimpse of his phone screen, but he shoves it away. 

"I'm really not. I mean," he adds when she raises her eyebrow skeptically. He clears his throat before he continues. "It's been a lot recently. Many fake news. People watch me more closely nowadays."

Her look becomes sympathetic. 

"You need a break from all that."

He smiles at her, his eyes cracking, his dimples showing. "I love you, Lou," he says simply. He can't tell her enough how much he appreciates her always judging presence in his life. "It's fine. I've survived worse," he grabs her hand and squeezes it. 

She takes another brush to apply some bronzer to make his cheekbones more prominent for the photoshoot. 

"You're almost ready," she tells him but he doesn't know if she's referring to the Zayn situation or the makeup. 

 

Later the day, as his interview goes, he thinks that he's not ready at all as he can't help but subtly take a jab back at Zayn.

_“I think I’m quiet most of the time…In between everything that’s busy, I’m usually pretty quiet."_

 


	9. [img]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three new chapters are up ;)

Nick Grimshaw is a good bloke, and Harry likes him. Hell, he trusts him even, as much as you can trust someone in the showbusiness world. He knows that Nick would never do anything to make him feel bad, to put him in an uncomfortable position.

He accepts the invitation to his show out of friendly courtesy. He also knows it's about time he started going out, back into the celebrity void, pretending that nothing has happened. If he has to do it, he thinks that Nick is the best person to get interviewed by. There's a sort of understanding between them, always has been.

"Listen, I'm going to show you a few pictures which are supposed to trigger some reaction," Nick tells him before the record.

Harry nods, suspecting what it's going to be about.

"I'll show you a couple of hot, famous people, some friends, and," he pauses, probably out of habit to make things more dramatic for the listeners. "Zayn."

Harry feels his throat tighten but nods nevertheless. "It's okay. Whose idea was that?" The question is unnecessary because now everyone knows that Zayn is his trigger but he asks anyway.  

"I can't tell you," yet, his smile explains by itself that Lou and Harry had their hands in it. "We're gonna monitor your heart rate, so I'll give you a little warning before I show you his picture. So you can react," another pause. "Accurately."

 He's really grateful for Nick at that moment, but at the same time, there's anger throbbing under his skin at the thought that this is what made his show. Confronting things like that for the fun of the listeners. Making fools out of famous people. Modern entertainment shows, Harry thinks. He hates them even though they're better than gladiator fights. 

He sits comfortably in the chair in front of Nick, and they begin. A few jokes there, the basic Taylor Swift question, their usual banter, and a few serious inquiries about his music. It's not long until Grimshaw announces that they're going to play a game to find out what's Harry's trigger, and he pretends that he didn't expect this.

 "Okay, next up we're gonna see somebody, a person, a human person, someone that you spent a lot of time with," sooner than later Nick tells him, and Harry knows that's the warning. "Someone that went their separate ways. How does," a dramatic pause. "Zayn Malik make you feel? Here in a leather jacket with no shirt on."

Harry holds his breath. He hears the steady beeping of the machine behind him. He looks at the photo with his best blank face. He's done his media training. Nothing can break him. 

"That's a nice combo," he's proud of how indifferent he sounds.

"That would be too sweaty for me," Nick disagrees.

"Personally, for me, that would be a little too sweaty."

Nick drops it then and mentions the rest of the band, pretending that every listener doesn't know that there's more between Harry and Zayn than simple old-bandmates resentment. 

 "If you know them if you trust them, it's the same level," Grimshaw's words ring in his ears.

 

.

 

**The fact that it dipped down from the constant 18 to the 12 right before the case of money basically tells us he was holding his breath while zayn's picture was up. holding your breath does nothing to the heart rate except maybe decrease it a little bit, and it gets slower the more you hold it. so lol, what does that tell us. This shit was staged af. Zayn was a "trigger", Harry holds his breath when they talk about him, that's all the proof you need from this lol**

 

 .

 

Harry doesn't watch videos of himself, but he's curious to see how well he acted during the radio interview. He scrolls through the comments, reads some of them, blocks his phone and throws it on the bed. Then, he goes to sleep. 

 

 


End file.
